MY FATHER IN LAW

Unless God intervenes, David's Dad will soon experience heaven first hand. His gain will leave us all with a huge gaping hole in our hearts. In every way, he has been the undisputed Patriarch of us all. Jack Haines served our country valiantly during WW II. He worked hard all of his life, supporting his wife and five children. He was an expert at gas measurement during the boom years of the oil industry. He worked 42 years, his entire career with one company. Almost 30 years ago, he had the opportunity to retire early, and to all of our surprise, he did. Mr. and Mrs. Haines spent those years traveling, cheering on their grandchildren and bouncing some great grandchildren on their knee. He has greatly loved his family.

One of my favorite things about him, is his voice. He has this incredible booming base voice. He spoke with it; sang with it and could correct an errant grandchild by just calling their name. I never heard him raise that voice and I never heard him say an unkind thing about anyone. He was kind and gracious to everyone.

He turned 89 last year. He and my mother-in-law celebrated 70 years of marriage about the same time. It was a quiet celebration because my mother-in-law has been robbed of her memories and most days cannot recall his name or those of her children. Yet, not a day passes without him telling her how much he loves her. I have learned so much about love and commitment watching him care for her. Neither of them is complete without the other.

I know he is going to love heaven. I know there will be great reward for him, for how he has served his Savior during his life. He will be healthy, whole and complete. I'm grateful for his life and legacy. I just don't know what we will do without him.

THE MIRACLE OF LIFE

Next Wednesday (if not sooner) David and I will welcome our sixth grandchild. It's a boy and his name will be Landen Young Haines. We are so excited and we are making our plans to be there for this joyous occasion. Unless God has other plans, this will be the last grandchild born in our family. I was thinking about our coming blessing when I first opened my eyes this morning. We have loved every single grandchild when we first heard they were on their way. We spend 40 weeks anticipating what they will be like, who they will favor and what their personality will be. From the minute our children tell us they are expecting, we begin praying for this little life. Thus far, the other five are very different and hold their own special place in the family. I have no doubt God has woven Landen together perfectly to take his place among his brothers and cousins.

One morning last week, I spoke with my very pregnant daughter-in-love trying to encourage her during these last difficult days. She is like me, in that she doesn't love the whole "pregnant" thing, but dearly loves the babies! I shared with her that she has just a few more days to feel this miracle of life within her own body.

When you consider all the years we "mother" the 40 weeks inside the womb are really not very long. We spend so much more time feeding, bathing, picking up after and car-pooling our babies. (And that's just the first 8 years!) There was a time when I thought we just parented 18 or 19 years and then they were grown. I am beyond blessed to still be praying over and loving on my boys even though I gave birth to our oldest nearly 33 years ago! In spite of all the years, there are times when I see a young expectant woman and I remember what it felt like to have a little foot push against my hand on my tummy. Who can forget those first tiny movements when it felt like a bushel of butterflies were flying around inside of you?

The miracle of carrying a life within should never be taken for granted. I know so many women who would have given everything to experience this first hand. God is so creative in the ways he gives us children who need a Mom. Whether you begin your mothering weeks before you ever lay eyes on the baby, or you began when you reached out to a rebellious teen, never lose sight of the miracle of life that comes straight from the Giver of life.

We can hardly wait, precious Landen!

MY LOVE LANGUAGE

David and I have been married a long time. Of course, compared to others perhaps not so long. This past October my in-laws were married 70 years! In comparison, at just 36 years, I guess David and I are almost newlyweds.

David and I love to travel. We enjoy movies and dinners out with friends. We love antiques and estate sales. We love our church and our jobs. And oh my goodness, we do love our children and grandchildren. We have always carved out time to be together. When are children were at the awkward age of "too old for sitters, but not responsible enough to be left alone at night," we started a habit of having breakfast out together. It worked great for our family. Normally we were home before our boys even woke up on Saturday mornings. An added benefit was breakfast tends to be the least expensive meal to eat out. Time together on a budget! We went to many different places for our weekly date. Sometimes just a bagel, sometimes a full breakfast with all the extras. If one of the "extras" on David's plate happened to be grits, he always gave them to me, because he knew I loved them. I never in all these years saw him eat a single tiny grit.

WELL... during these past Christmas holidays, we ate breakfast at a local cafe on our way to the mall to finish up our shopping. They just happened to serve grits. Normally, I would order a smaller breakfast meal and just have David's grits. But, on this busy December morning, I told David I was extra hungry and I would be ordering the same thing he normally did. Our identical meals arrived at our table and imagine my shock when I watched my husband EAT HIS GRITS! I was shocked. I shared with him that I was so surprised to see him eating this southern delicacy since he didn't like them. Then, my Man, who I have known for over 40 years says to me... "I like grits. I always give them to you because I know you love them."

I was so surprised by this, I could hardly get my fingers around my credit card to finish my shopping the rest of the day. This gently, quiet man of mine, never said a word to me, he just gave me something that he liked because he knew I liked them too. He never asked for a pat on the back or a reciprocating action from me.

I swear to you, I fell more deeply in love with him at that moment. I had always thought my love language was acts of kindness or service. In addition, I dearly love a small, gift wrapped package with something shiny on the inside! But, this Christmas, I learned my husband could show his love to me in a very small way that no one but me would even notice. It didn't cost a dime, but it was priceless to me.

I wonder if any of you might be missing a token of your loved ones devotion? Look for them or you will miss them. Even better, look for opportunities this year to show your love to others in small ways that really have HUGE benefits.

A NEW BIBLE

I have a new Bible and I love it. It's pink, because in just a few years when my grand daughter can read, I'm going to give it to her. The pages are all still stuck together and I can't find a single familiar marking in it. Every page is waiting for me to discover old treasures in a fresh new way. I keep my favorite pen and highlighter handy to mark my new favorite Scriptures! I'm always thinking of that sweet blonde angel who will follow behind me. I pray I will be around to open the treasures up for her, but if not, I intend to leave a trail she can follow.

I'm extremely aware of the responsibility of leaving a godly legacy for my own family. But too often I forget about those who might be following along behind me and I'm completely unaware of my influence. Any day I miss out on an opportunity to tell someone about my Jesus, either in word or deed, is a day wasted. This week in Bible Study, we talked about our "circle of influence." We all have one. God has purposed a mission field for everyone of us.

How are you using the influence God has given you?

HAPPY FALL, FINALLY

I'm not much on Halloween. But I dearly love pumpkins. Fresh pumpkin pies, pumpkin muffins, bread and Starbuck's pumpkin spice latte all point to the fact that it's finally below 90 degrees in Houston. Of all the ways I love that fabulous fall fruit, I think I've discovered my favorite! Let me introduce Mr. Josiah Haines! He is Jeremy and Jessica's baby boy and he is such a delight. He's a snuggle bug for whoever holds him. He adores his brother and sister. There is always the biggest smile on his little face. He just turned 1 and we cannot imagine our life without him.

This baby of our family is secure of his place never doubting the love of his family. He's a bit of a flirt, watching for the opportunity to catch your eye and give you the biggest grin. He is content to play on his own, but if you are in need of some cuddling, he's happy to oblige. He's our 5th grandchild but we just call him our baby boy!

LIFE

Today I was devastated to read about another child who lost their battle with cancer and gained heaven's glory.

I laughed with my daughter-in-love who crossed a line into serious motherhood as she left the car dealership with a mini-van.

I grieved once again over a loved one who can't remember her name or her children.

I experienced great frustration at the drive thru of a local fast food restaurant, which was anything but FAST

I fell more madly in love with my Grand Blessings as their Mom sent me snippets and snapshots of their little lives.

AND

I worried over the future because of the never ending doom of the headlines.

Life would really be crazy and perhaps hopeless if not for my Jesus....

In the overflow of my changing emotions, I find His life for me. One of frustration and failures, abundance and grace... I am at thankful and I am at rest.

OH MY GOODNESS, I THINK I'M GOOD AND MAD

A sweet and precious young woman just posted a link on facebook to a blog explaining all the bad stuff about Women's Ministry. I'm not mad at her, I'm furious with the woman who wrote the blog. (Sarah Bessy, "Why we don't need Women's Ministry at chuchleaders.com) It made me fighting mad! I don't think I am un-biased on this subject. For pity sakes I've spent most of my adult life (and that's a lot of years) involved with the women of one church or another. I very personally, know the good, the bad and the ugly about women in the church. And you know what... the good and the Godly far outweigh the bad stuff.

I've never seen anyone like women seeking after the Lord in Bible Study. None seemed to care if there was a feminine cover on the study or not. It is the women from these groups that take meals and clean the house of another woman who is suffering the devastating effects of chemotherapy. These "shallow" women are the exact ones who show up at the door of another woman who just suffered another miscarriage, or buried her 1 year old. These are the women who hold up another woman who just saw her husband walk out the door after 20 years of marriage. These exact women help rescue another woman who has been beaten to a pulp by her husband. They have helped encourage the marriages in the group, clothe and feed the children who were without and managed to walk through some serious fires without smelling like smoke. They are not shallow or innocent of what the world has to offer.

These very same women would really love for some woman to start a workplace Bible study downtown. They would appreciate some help caring for those who have been unjustly treated by society. They wouldn't even mind if you started a group to discuss world religions, theology or politics. An art or music class for the children in the inner city would be a great place to start.

Stop waiting for an invitation to pray, work or minister to others. I encourage you to get off your soapbox and get busy in the middle of ministry. The church will be better for it.

Maybe just maybe, the reason your Ladies Night was filled with frivolous things like cupcakes and crafts is because most of the women who attended were exhausted and drained from their life of ministry. They needed a night of fun and laughter. They needed a place to take their "lost" neighbor that was not threatening or overly religious.

Does the church need Women's Ministry? Yes, you bet it does. Ms. Bessy, you are right, it's not just for the married women pushing a double stroller. (Although several of those also run marathons for causes important to them.) Women's Ministry is for you and women just like you who want a group that meets them where they are. Why don't you start one for women like that? You don't even have to bring cupcakes.

I feel better now....